Speak little; listen much; think far more of understanding heats and of adapting yourself to their needs than of saying clever things to them. Show that you have an open mind, and let everyone see by experience that there is safety and consolation in opening his mind to you. Avoid extreme severity, and reprove, where necessary, with caution and gentleness. Never say more than is needed, but let whatever you say be said with entire frankness. Let no one fear to be deceived by trusting you. … You should become all things to all the children of God, for the sake of gaining every one of them. And correct yourself, for the sake of correcting others.
Strategic Pastoral Counseling: A Short-Term Structured Model, 2nd ed., by David G. Benner, Baker Academic 2003. Quoting 17th Century French theologian Fénelon.